Star Wars : Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Blasters

Episode I - Looters of a Lost Cause

Raiders of the lost dark

Cap’n’s Log #0002
Me fearless crew and I were hired to do a spot of treasure hunting, and so it was we landed in a swamp on Koruss. Our objective was a funny mask we thought to find in the area. As we built a raft to cross a small river without getting damp, a band of natives accosted us; our surgeon managed to convince them she were an avatar of their deity to I cleverly used this distraction to cleave them apart with me trusty axe.

Following an altercation with a swamp kraken and having taken one of the natives captive we set a course for TREASURE and before long arrived at a funny rock mountain. Inside we met a strange old bloke who made Twelves do something on his own in a room before our captive mate talked us into the old bloke’s inner sanctum. Me helmsman said something that didn’t sit well with the old bloke and he set his metal men on us. I lept on him and turned his face to pulp, but not before he had used his magic to batter me about with the scenery. We beat a hasty retreat, grabbing the treasure on the way as the room fell apart.

Upon our exit, a smug-lookin’ posh sort with at least a thousand armed men and a big blue first mate waylaid us. We handed over the mask in exchange for some credits, and he ran off, setting his men on us. By skillfully mutilating his first mate in front of his boys, we convinced the thousand-strong army to back down and left the planet at once.

One day I will track this Mr Lington down and tear his heart from his chest!

-Captain Trexx

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