Star Wars : Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Blasters

The Fall of Captain Trexx

We made good time and docked on Smuggler’s Moon. I took our earnings from the liberation to a nearby casino where, like any responsible space captain in my position would have done, I set about doubling it through gambling.

My occasionally useful but mostly mutinous, short-sighted, ungrateful, ugly pilot demanded their cut then and there; I’m in the habit of offering an equal share to my crew, an amount hugely exceeding even the most generous captains offer. It is clear this has made my crew greedy, a problem I will have to monitor closely.

The shipwright and self-appointed quartermaster Twelves helped himself to Betty’s share too, denying her the doubling of her pay that my endeavour gave me. Nevertheless I walked away from the gambling table a rich Captain.

This was when I moved on to less important business, elsewhere the deviant duo Twelves and Endris were wandering around aimlessly and presumably throwing my hard earned credits around trying to get poor as quickly as possible before crawling back for more from their rich, benevolent, long-suffering Captain.

Anyway while I spent the last paragraph digressing a high stakes sabaac game began. The stakes: the custody of the informant who would lead us to Artoo and the Genesis Archive. The players included a bounty hunter with the murder eyes and some puny rich guy.

Good fortune had abandoned me, and the game was not going well. While formulating a plan to deal with this situation, the murder eyed bounty hunter spiced things up with a thermal detonator shaped surprise. I don’t really know what happened next as I was grabbing all the credits off the table. I recall, almost in slow motion a hand holding a thermal detonator, me slowly moving the pleading rich guy to the falling detonator and one of my crew mates (maybe Neb?) flying through the air and out the window.

Anyway I sorted all that out and we took a taxi driven by a nice droid C4-BE who has a hydrospanner for a son or something; the informant, whose name is a letter was in our custody.

After dealing with the benetted bounty hunter with the murder eyes by spraying him with automatic blaster fire and releasing him safely back into the wild………… we took Mr A to a safe place to hack into stuff with his computers and his curious, befuddled nature. Armed with a pointy new weapon I stood vigil for hours as he pressed buttons and went “woah”. Just as we were getting somewhere, imperials arrived and a few hundred stormtroopers stormed in, in their stormy way.

These stormtroopers stormed straight into an ambush, we killed many before they even realised they were under attack. We built up a mountain of them at the entrance so none could enter then went upstairs to check on Mr A.

The job was done, we left for the roof where our taxi was due. Here is where a 20 ft tall metal giant armed with death lasers leapt up onto the roof and would have vaporised us all had I not engaged it in single combat, giving my crew a chance to escape. Luckily for the giant my crew and I were in a hurry so I spared its life and jumped off the roof onto the taxi when we made our escape. Apparently ungrateful for sparing its/his/her life the thing took a shot at our engines, the ball of doom was right on top of us, I took a last look at my crew and saw the fear in their eyes. I felt pity for them but also knew I was the only one to save them. I reached out and grabbed the ball in my hand, I felt it fizzling out in my death grasp and threw it aside. I felt myself falling back. I saw the stars above. I realised I had done what nobody else could have, I had killed Captain Trexx.


FCaldwell rareveritt

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